Wednesday with the Spook Brothers: Ask Spook


February 6, 2013 by Kriscinda Lee Everitt

This week, one brave soul has dared to delve into the Spooks’ personal lives.

Dear Spooks,Siobhan

What would be your idea of a perfect first date? Are you into the online dating scene or what?!


Dear Meatbag,

Spooks, in general, do not spend a lot of time online. We, as the Spook Brothers, have a fairly rare online presence, but that’s because we have many business dealings through our modeling agency, International Plush, Inc, and our dance school, Spookerton Dance Academy. And even then, our flunkie-meatbags take care of most all of that.

As you can see, we are very busy spooks about the world and have little time for dating. “Dating” is, for you, a sick, pointless process of meeting, eating garbage, watching terrible meatbag films, and then potentially exchanging your disgusting meatbag fluids, which we find repulsive. “Relationships,” in Spookland, are different. Most importantly, here is no filthy exchange of ectoplasm. Generally, spooks like to pair up and go a-haunting, or, if they’re very serious, a-murdering. But to know whether or not a haunting or murder partner is right for you, indeed, there must be what you would think of as a “date.”

Our tastes in what would make a perfect date are quite similar, so we can probably answer once for the both of us (although Spook the Elder tends to like wrapping up an evening out with a test haunting, and Spook the Younger likes a test murder). Generally, we like to take our lucky, lucky dates out to see the latest slasher film—the bloodier, the better (lady spooks like that sort of thing). And then we might take them to the swankiest Spookland restaurant, La Sanglante Gormet (The Bloody Gormet). Then, if they’re up for it, we’ll take a nice beany stroll along the docks of Phantsama Bay (lovely this time of year). Afterwards, if you’re really hitting it off, they might like to go on a preliminary haunt or murder with you, just to see how well you are really connecting.

If, even after spending all that ghost dough, she doesn’t want to go haunt or murder with you, it’s best to just call it a night and change your phone number.

SpookWhiskyGot a question for the Spook Brothers? Leave it in the comments.

5 thoughts on “Wednesday with the Spook Brothers: Ask Spook

  1. Robin Fish says:

    Dear Spook Brothers-

    My husband and I are currently locked in a heated debate over birthin’ our youngin’. I wanna do it at home (waterbirth), whereas my better half wants to keep with tradition by doing at the hospital. How can I convince him that my plan is the better one?

    thank you for your valuable time….Robin Fish

  2. Siobhan says:

    Spooks, you are definitely right about this: dating in the human world does involve a few too many “meat bag” romantic comedies and online dating is haunting enough without any help from the supernatural…

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