Wednesday with the Spook Brothers: Ask Spook

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February 20, 2013 by Kriscinda Lee Everitt

On this week’s installment of Ask Spook…

Dear Spook Brothers,Deborah

Who put the bomp in the bomp-she-bomp-she-bomp?

Yours,

Deborah

Spook the Elder: Who let this jokester in here?

Spook the Younger: Yeah, I mean, come on…

Spook the Elder: This is a serious column and we’re very serious about it…

Spook the Younger: Really, I mean, who thinks this is funny…?

Spook the Elder: What does that even mean?

Spook the Younger: …bomp-she-bomp…

Spook the Elder: It’s like some kind of meatbag code…

Spook the Younger: …she-bomp…

Spook the Elder: Well…hmmm…she-bomp…

Spook the Younger: She-bomp…

Spook the Elder: ………..my guess is that the culprit is a she.

Spook the Younger: Agreed, brother. I mean, clearly the bomp-dropper is a she…

Spook the Elder: But who…?

Spook the Younger: …she-bomp…

Spook the Elder: …she-bomp…

……………………………silence……………………….

Spook the Elder: Brother, it’s a trick!

Spook the Younger: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! *flail*

Spook the Elder: It’s Deborah! Deborah put the bomp in the bomp-she-bomp-she-bomp…oh, God, run!

Spook the Younger: Ahhhhhhhh….

Okay, that went well. Next…

Dear Spook Brothers, Paula

Why is it that when I make blueberry pancakes they are never done around the blueberries no matter how long I cook them?

Sincerely,

Paula

Well Paula, we are of the opinion that the reason for the batter remaining uncooked around the blueberries is that the blueberries are of the Devil and were intentionally grown to cause you aggravation. The Devil generally gets a bad rap, but we’d have to say that, for all his pranks on meatbags, this one might be one of his best, most subtle works of mischief. Few meatbags know that sometime during the 9th century, the Devil took up fruit breeding. He’s responsible for quite a few popular varieties in Spookland.

If it’s not the Devil—and we find this to be highly unlikely—we believe the problem might lie in the temperature of your blueberries. You see, fresh blueberries should not cause the problem you are having with uncooked batter around the berry itself. However, if you are using frozen blueberries, the chill from the berry might be preventing the batter from cooking thoroughly. Our advice to you would be to either use fresh blueberries, or, if you use frozen, allow them to thaw before mixing them in with the batter.

Or, you could just acknowledge the Devil as your Lord and Master, and he’ll get off your back.

CoffeeSpook

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